Friday, December 24, 2010

Things That Make Me Wanna Blow My Brains Out

Merry Christmas!!! My gift to you? A 310lb ball of pissed off man with Monster Absolute Zero and Ephedrine coursing through his veins and Blue Heat as his cologne.

Thought #1
I saw this ad today for PETA, which apparently stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. I like to think of it as People Eating Tasty Animals. With that in mind let me pose this question, "If we are not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of delicious meat?" Back on track. This ad has a troll by the name of Alicia Mayer on it donning nothing but lettuce leaves to cover her (wore than likely well worn out) "lady areas". She doesn't want you to eat meat. Awwww, isn't that sweet, she doesn't want evil, dirty, bad for you meat in her body. Once you look at the ad this woman has some of the most ridiculously augmented breasts I've seen in a while. Meat is bad for you? How about those hot air balloons you have sitting on top of your chest? You sure that those are the healthiest thing for you?

Now, I'm not against breast augmentation or any other plastic surgery, but this shit is ludicrous. In fact, when done correctly I think it is a good thing. Not eating meat for ethical reasons just blows my mind. I paid my way through college as a Butcher and a Meat Cutter, not to mention I consume critters as often as possible. These PETA people have serious mental problems.

Thought #2
If you are going to Squat, then Squat. I don't want to see another 6" deep squat ever again. I watched these guys do squats the other day and it made me cringe. they have like 585 on the bar, they walk it out and they have a spotter behind the guy and on each end of the bar, so far so good. Then the back spotter places his knee between the legs of the squatter to gauge how deep the squatter should go. Unless your back spotter is a member of the sideshow of a 3rd rate carnival there is no way he is short enough so that his thigh is at sufficient depth. They then bust out like 10 reps letting the bar bounce on their back at the top of each rep.

To make it even better one of their buddies comes over with his cell phone and takes video. The guy un-racks the bar and and starts the "Squats", while the cameraman is yelling out, "Dis shit goin' on YouTube". Well I hope it does so that they can get ripped a new one in the comments section.

If your too scared to hit depth on a Squat sack up like a real man and do Deadlifts. Deadlifts are the last test of true strength and there is no cheating. Either you pick the bar off of the floor and lock it out, or you don't. It doesn't matter if you hitch or get a slow clean pull as long as it is legal in the organization in which you are lifting. It is that simple. Which leads me to...

Thought #3
Why does no one Deadlift anymore? Nothing gives you the physiological response like a heavy Deadlift. I put on a bunch of mass in the past few months without gaining much fat. You know how I did it? Deep Squats and Deads. It is really that simple. Grab the bar and yank it off of the floor and watch the gobs of muscle build on your frame. Get off the damned machines stop trying to use Ronnie Coleman's 2002 split for the Olympia title.

Until next time RANT OVER!!!

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