Things That Make Me Wanna Blow My Brains Out

Merry Christmas!!! My gift to you? A 310lb ball of pissed off man with Monster Absolute Zero and Ephedrine coursing through his veins and Blue Heat as his cologne.

Thought #1
I saw this ad today for PETA, which apparently stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. I like to think of it as People Eating Tasty Animals. With that in mind let me pose this question, "If we are not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of delicious meat?" Back on track. This ad has a troll by the name of Alicia Mayer on it donning nothing but lettuce leaves to cover her (wore than likely well worn out) "lady areas". She doesn't want you to eat meat. Awwww, isn't that sweet, she doesn't want evil, dirty, bad for you meat in her body. Once you look at the ad this woman has some of the most ridiculously augmented breasts I've seen in a while. Meat is bad for you? How about those hot air balloons you have sitting on top of your chest? You sure that those are the healthiest thing for you?

Now, I'm not against breast augmentation or any other plastic surgery, but this shit is ludicrous. In fact, when done correctly I think it is a good thing. Not eating meat for ethical reasons just blows my mind. I paid my way through college as a Butcher and a Meat Cutter, not to mention I consume critters as often as possible. These PETA people have serious mental problems.

Thought #2
If you are going to Squat, then Squat. I don't want to see another 6" deep squat ever again. I watched these guys do squats the other day and it made me cringe. they have like 585 on the bar, they walk it out and they have a spotter behind the guy and on each end of the bar, so far so good. Then the back spotter places his knee between the legs of the squatter to gauge how deep the squatter should go. Unless your back spotter is a member of the sideshow of a 3rd rate carnival there is no way he is short enough so that his thigh is at sufficient depth. They then bust out like 10 reps letting the bar bounce on their back at the top of each rep.

To make it even better one of their buddies comes over with his cell phone and takes video. The guy un-racks the bar and and starts the "Squats", while the cameraman is yelling out, "Dis shit goin' on YouTube". Well I hope it does so that they can get ripped a new one in the comments section.

If your too scared to hit depth on a Squat sack up like a real man and do Deadlifts. Deadlifts are the last test of true strength and there is no cheating. Either you pick the bar off of the floor and lock it out, or you don't. It doesn't matter if you hitch or get a slow clean pull as long as it is legal in the organization in which you are lifting. It is that simple. Which leads me to...

Thought #3
Why does no one Deadlift anymore? Nothing gives you the physiological response like a heavy Deadlift. I put on a bunch of mass in the past few months without gaining much fat. You know how I did it? Deep Squats and Deads. It is really that simple. Grab the bar and yank it off of the floor and watch the gobs of muscle build on your frame. Get off the damned machines stop trying to use Ronnie Coleman's 2002 split for the Olympia title.


Until next time RANT OVER!!!

Deadlift, Jump PRs and "Yoostas"

Did a complex for the monthly challenge here at work early this morning because one of my clients cancelled. It was set up like this:

Power Clean
Front Squat
Push Press
Back Squat
Power Press
All of this is done back to back and is considered one rep. You have to complete 8 reps for the weight to count. My goal was to beat clients and trainers by 100lbs, but one of the clients threw out 115lbs. So I shoot for 220 and it almost killed me. On rep 7 my shoulder gave out after the Power press and all 225 slammed down on my right Quadriceps. I now sport a lovely blue/red/purple mark.

So I rested and had twenty bajillion other clients, then I got the urge to Deadlift. So I did.

Conventional Deadlift:
135x a few
225x10 or so
315x3
365x3
405x3(added belt)
455x1
495x1
505x1(Conventional Stance 30lb PR!!!)
I was Deadlifting in the Sumo stance, but after evaluating my body, I decided that I'm built for a more conventional stance. I felt as if I could have gone higher, but with the torn part of my glute screaming at me I decided to call it a day. Thank God for Blue Heat and Spud Inc. belts.

Seated Box Jumps (24") from Distance:
4'x5
5'x5
6'x3
6.5'x3
7'x2
7.5'x2(Distance and Rep PR)
First attempt at 7.5' was short by an inch so I didn't stick the landing.

Did some Naural Glute Ham Raises and Kettlebell Single Leg Romanian Deadlifts to work out some the crap in the Glute.

"Yoostas": Every gym has these guys. You know them, or you may be one of them. They are the guys that talk about what they "Yoosta do". As I'm deadlifting this guy comes up to me and tells me how he yoosta squat 500+ for 20 reps. Yeah, and I can piss all the colors of the rainbow. Don't tell me what you were able to do at some point in time, show me what you can do now.

Get in the gym , SFW and don't make excuses. I can make all the excuses in the world, my doctors certainly gave them to me, but I don't. I keep driving, I keep going, I keep getting better, I keep throwing farther, and most importantly I keep my head up.

Links:
Blue Heat
3 Blue Heat, 1 Free Hot Pink
Spud Inc 3-ply Belt
Spud Inc. 3 Ply Deadlift Belt